Feedback

It's that time of the year again.. appraisals and feedback time.
I had read somewhere that "People ask for feedback, but they want only praise". It's 200% true...and one cannot fathom how true it is till "feedback" by peers, colleagues and managers "happen" to them.

I remember the times not so long ago when I used to get extremely defensive and agigated, when I received (what HR calls) "constructive criticism" during appraisals or even when well-meaning friends will tell me about things which I, as a person, needed to improve.Being a HR person and in a way exposed to a number of training programmes on giving and receiving feedback,luckily, I did realise that this is my weak area. I did improve ( over a considerable period of time) and felt that now nothing can bother me... but the reality is that even after a lot of soul-searching and convincing myself that others will give me frank feedback, mostly if they care for me -I did find that the original human nature of trying to find reasons for that feedback does creep in now and then. The "constructive criticism" wandered in my thoughts a number of times that day and with great difficulty, I could convince myself that the feedback is indeed true and needs some action. Really, receiving feedback and taking it positively is definitely something which requires a lot of self-talking and control.

I wonder how saints and some people manage to handle the feedback without feeling perturbed or managing to look undisturbed.